You see, your child is not acting out because of something that happened in their past. They are not acting out because of some circumstance in the present. While past experience and present circumstance may have some influence, your child is acting out because they want something in the future. Don’t ask why, ask what. “What are they trying to accomplish?”
Systematic Training for Effective Parenting teaches that a child’s behavior is goal oriented and your feeling can get you in touch with those goals. For example: If you feel angry, your child wants revenge. If you feel hopelessness, your child wants you to leave them alone. If you feel aggravated, your child wants your attention. Get the point. If so, get the training material and prepare yourself to better respond next time they are acting naughty.