When children do make mistakes, be sure to focus on specific incidents rather than on generalities; then help them strategize how to not make that mistake again. The best way we can build competence is by empowering them to make decisions. Asking toddlers if they want an apple or a banana, for example, starts exercising their decision making abilities early on. As they get older give your children more important decisions. We must be careful though, that our desire to protect our children doesn’t mistakenly send them a message that we don’t think they’re competent to handle things. The unintended consequences of “helicopter parenting” is that we are building a generation of sheltered children who lack competence, and therefore confidence to tackle life problems on their own.
Take Away: The best way we can build competence is by empowering them to make decisions.